Do I Look Like a Hobo?

Last night was Mr. EWP's firm holiday party. It was my first time meeting most of the people he works with (he just started at this firm a couple months ago) and while maternity clothes limited my festive holiday hotness options, I think I managed it well.

I rocked a blue dress, fantabulous multi-stranded gold necklace, and, per usual, delicious 5 inch heels.

I really thought I was a knock out, or at least did pretty well with what I had to work with. But I came down the stairs, Mr. EWP took one look at me and said "You cannot wear those shoes." Okay, he did first say that I looked beautiful, but followed it up with that I should wear flats.

FLATS??? To a holiday party? Where I will be meeting people for the first time?? What do I look like, a hobo? I don't think so. 32 weeks pregnant or not, if those heels still fit on my feet (yay no swelling of my feet so far!) then you will have to kill me to get me to take them off.

The outfit did not go with flats. There was no fabulously-put-together-mama-to-be look with flats. One of my major pet peeves (I know, I have many, but this is one too) is pregnant women thinking they don't have to look put together anymore because they're pregnant. I'm pregnant, not dead. Looking sloppy is most definitely not allowed. My heels are coming with me.

Clearly team 5 inch heels won out. And, since I'm a heel pro, they didn't bother me one bit. And let me tell you, I looked fabulous. If only we had taken a picture.

Well, That Was a Bust

You may know him as Tim Gunn, but around my house we call him Uncle Tim. And by "we" I mean "me." Why Uncle Tim? I don't know, I guess I just decided he was so very fabulous, that we just had to be related somehow.

Uncle Tim was coming to Chicago last night for a book signing and I was pretty excited. We all know how wonderful our last encounter was where he told me I was fabulous and all my dreams came true. I needed a little more Tim Gunn love. I had to go.

Only problem, my maternity wardrobe isn't exactly what I would call fabulous. Sure it's cute for the most part, but no real head turners in there. It took all my creative genius to come up with an outfit for Fashion's Night Out on Friday. But here I was 3 days later, in need of another fabulous outfit. And it was ridiculously hot out, there would be no pretending I could get away with boots, so no just repeating what I wore Friday night.

In the end I wore an olive brown shirt dress, adorable beige headband, and the "EWP Favorite Things" nude Louboutins. And with a little extra time saved for makeup, I applie the perfect subtle eye, with just a hint of bronze to really rock these almond eyes. In a word, I was pretty hot for a pregnant lady. I envisioned Uncle Tim seeing me with my belly and my 5 inch heels and exclaiming how fabulous I was. It would be love at first sighting of high heels.

And then we got there. Over an hour before the signing. And Borders had run out of the book. After some phone calls we learned that so had the other Borders. And the Barnes & Noble. We had run out of book store options in the city. There would be no book for us to get signed.

And what totally baffled me about this was:
1) There were, tops, 75 people there. Borders seriously didn't carry more than 50 books???! For a signing? On Michigan Avenue? With Tim Gunn??? It seemed like the worst planning in history.

2) I looked around the women waiting and was utterly floored by what I saw. Many, many 50+ year old, completely overweight women, wearing mom jeans and sneakers. As they clutched Tim Gunn's book to their sagging, unsupported bosoms and sweatshirts, I thought to myself "You have never heard a word TG has said. Or even read a word of that book you're holding. And if you have, then you have no idea how to apply it to your life. Please leave." It was a really shocking look at chubby gross middle America. People I'd expect to see at an amusement park. Not a book signing for Tim Gunn.

But since we had no books for him to sign, it didn't make much sense to stand around (in 5 inch heels) for the next hour, just to not meet Uncle Tim at all. So we left. So sad.

EWP's Favorite Things: Christian Louboutin Nude Pumps

If there is one pair of shoes your closet should not be without it is the nude pump. Pure, wonderful, versatile, heaven I'm telling you.

A neutral so they go with everything. But so much more interesting than basic black. I wear mine all the time. I'm in serious fear of the day they die. Which can't be that far off since I wear them all the time. But so far, they've held up marvelously. As a great shoe is designed to do.

You need them. Now.

Christian Louboutin

SATC 2 - An EWP Review

Some things are so big that they make an EWP come out of her leave of absence and blog. The Sex and the City 2 movie is one of those things.

First of all, like all big events, an outfit was necessary.

This is what I wore:

Badgley Mischka dress, belt stolen from other dress, black crinoline for some much needed pouf, David Yurman ring, Anthropologie flower clip (I was wearing a much bigger flower earlier but figured people sitting behind me wouldn't be able to see and switched), and black peeptoe Louboutins.

Not my best creation, but I found myself with only 15 minutes to get ready and threw this together. Not bad for only having 15 minutes.

Well, the movie, folks, was not good. It was all really stupid and didn't make much sense. And, well, it was pretty racist. I was pretty offended most of the movie. In all, the girls' problems all seemed contrived and stupid, as we thought they would be after they wrapped everything up so well in the first movie.
This is so sad to say, but it was definitely not worth seeing :(

For those of you who haven't seen it, that's about all I'll say here. I give you the good, the bad, and the ridiculous below:


SPOILER ALERT. If you have not seen SATC 2 and don't want to know some plot points, do not read ahead. SPOILER ALERT.








Okay, everyone gone who doesn't want to read? Good.

THE GOOD:

1. With the previews saying "we were stuck between wild sex and a baby" I was really afraid the movie would be about Big and Carrie having a baby, which is so not them. Luckily, the writers agreed and stuck true to the Carrie character and no babies for them. Phew!
2. I don't know if this is good, but I'll stick it here: I'm pretty sure I went to high school with one of the guys who sang at Stanford and Anthony's wedding.
3. Speaking of the wedding - Liza was fabulous. Seriously. Wonderful. Her doing "Single Ladies" was maybe the highlight of the entire movie.
4. The fashion. Not as ridiculous (or expensive) as the last movie, but still wonderful nonetheless. The desert landscape led to many flowy, dreamy maxis and jumpsuits. I loved them all.
5. The Indian butler made me cry when he talked about his wife. SO SWEET. And unexpected.

THE BAD:

1. I get motherhood is hard. I really do. But Charlotte complaining and crying about how being a mother is just so tough when she is a housewife with a full-time, live-in nanny was just utterly ridiculous. What's so tough, Char? You don't have to worry about a work-life balance, and you apparently don't even watch your kids. So please let me know what is so darn tough. Nothing? Okay, that's what I thought.
2. The entire braless nanny storyline was unnecessary and didn't do anything for the storyline except make Charlotte wholly unlikeable and crazy.
3. Abu Dhabi? Really? The ladies need to stay in New York. Stop sending them places. I don't like them in LA, don't like them in Mexico, and I don't like them in the UAE.
4. That said, I was excited to see the girls in all the glamour that is the UAE (that place is swank and cosmopolitan, folks), instead the movie portrayed it as backwards and awful. Did the producers think that blatant anti-Muslim xenophobia would make for clever humor? Because it didn't. I was offended the entire time. Especially when the movie had a group of angry men chasing the girls because Samantha was wearing shorts and had condoms in her purse. And then they donned burkas to get away. It was not funny. It was offensive. We don't need backwards Muslim stereotypes in the movies. I guess I should be happy they didn't add in a terrorist subplot.
5. Why are Stanford and Anthony in a marriage where Anthony gets to cheat? Wholly disappointing. Stanford deserves better than that. And while we're fighting for gay marriage to get legalized the last thing we need is this bad gay stereotype of promiscuity.
6. Aside from Big, the men don't have any part at all. Steve and Harry each have one line.
7. The "I am Woman" karaoke scene made me cringe. It was slow, it was boring, and there is no way those characters would have done that and not made fun of themselves for doing it. And, lord, it went on forever. It would. not. end. No more karaoke, please.
8. WHERE WAS GILLES MARINI??? I was convinced he'd be in the sequel.

THE RIDICULOUS:

1. I'm as big a proponent of high heels as anyone can be, but there is a time and a place for everything. And even I would draw the line at wearing 5 inch heels in the desert. The girls looked ridiculous sinking into the sand with every step they took. Couldn't they have been put in a sexy gladiator sandal? It would have made WAY more sense.
2. Carrie cheats on Big (yes, kissing your ex-fiance is cheating), and what does he do? No big fight. No expression of betrayal. They don't even talk about what was going on with them. No, Big gives her a giant black diamond ring. WHAT???? Since when does the cheater get gifts of giant jewelry?
3. More ridiculous? Carrie was driven to cheat by the fact that Big bought them a tv. To watch movies together. I'm sorry, you're in your 40s and 50s, every night can't be out on the town. Watching a movie together at home doesn't sound so bad. And, sure, tv wouldn't be my ideal anniversary gift, but I'm not going to go run off and cheat because of it!

Met Gala 2010: Kerry Washington

Kerry Washington in a one-of-a-kind Thakoon for Gap asymmetrical red gown with Tasaki by Thakoon jewelry and Christian Louboutin accessories.

Kerry Washington is a beautiful woman. If Mr. EWP ever left me, I'd really understand if it was for Kerry Washington. I might leave him for Kerry. This color is great for her and I love all the interesting draping and varied fabrics. And obvi I love the shoes.

A-

Met Gala 2010: Camilla Belle

Camilla Belle in a red chiffon Jason Wu gown, Cartier jewelry and Christian Louboutin accessories.

Hello, sexy starlet!! Camilla really set off her gorgeous dark features in this red gown. The look really took my breath away. Love

A+

EWP Goes to the Fanciest Mall Ever

No vacay anywhere is complete without a day of shopping. It's been my rule since ever since I can remember. With three daughters and years of shopping trips, my dad can't set foot in a mall without breaking out in hives. But now the tradition has been passed on to Mr. EWP and he's actually doing quite well with it. He did the shopping research all on his own. He googled "Christian Louboutin" and "Chloe" and found some places to shop. I was seriously impressed that A) that he did the shopping planning on his own, and B) that he even knew what Chloe was. AND he said I could buy anything I wanted. Anything. I was very excited.

First stop: The Miami Design District. I was really excited. I always think other big cities have something fun like Michigan Ave. where it's just lines of nice shops and people wandering in and out.Well, um, the Miami Design District was not like that. It was deserted, in the middle of a gorgeous Saturday! And the whole area was kind of warehousey and not cute. There'd be one nice store I'd consider shopping in, and then a bunch of faucet and plumbing stores. It was SO WEIRD.

But they did have this store. My mecca. My home. I love you, Christian!

I was hoping to try on these shoes that I'd been coveting for a while, but they didn't carry them.

But they did have these adorably Parisian be-bowed, polka-dotted heels.

Funny story. I tried these on and Mr. EWP goes, "the heel's kinda low" and the saleswoman balks and goes, "they're four inches!" hahahhaha. I guess I've conditioned him to really ridiculous heel heights. I was wearing 6 inchers this day.

As cute as I thought they were, and as much as I could see me spending the whole summer in them, I just didn't think they were as cute as the piped canvas mary jane peep-toes. So I said goodbye.

From there we wandered over to Marni where I learned a very important lesson: never ever go to a store starved for customers wearing shoes from that store. OMG, once those 2 sales associates saw my shoes, they were tripping over themselves to show me everything in their store. Including stuff in the back they hadn't put out yet! They were all, we got a new collection, would you like to see it? No, I would not, people. You're scaring me.

It was high time to leave the Design District. So we crossed the bridge and headed over to what turned out to be the fanciest mall I've ever been to.

Sure I've been to nice shopping places, but none like this. It was discerning, it was high class.

Sure there were trees like other malls

And the fish were pretty cute.

But it was the stores that got me. There was no Banana or Club Monaco to be seen. The upstairs were the "lowly" stores - Tory Burch, Diane von Furstenberg, Marc Jacobs. Things I can manage to swing in the budget.

But downstairs, wowee, downstairs was something else.

Hello, Carolina.

And Lanvin! I don't believe I've seen a Lanvin in person before. Not that I went in, I didn't feel worthy.

I was on a handbag hunt. I marched into Chloe looking for the bag I saw back in Chicago, but they didn't carry it. So we wandered to some other stores and looked at bags. Some had comical prices ($3,000??? WHAT?) and others were maybe buyable.

I wandered into Valentino to check out their rosette bags that I totally love. And the Valentino clerk totally did a once over of my bag and turned up his little nose at me. I wanted to be like, "It's Kate Spade, not Guess, dude!" And I wanted to inform him that he worked in a store. But I didn't.

For better or for worse, the people at Dior gave me much better service. Well, better as in they were attentive, not that they actually understood anything I was saying. I went in and said I wanted a plain, basic bag. I like my bags pretty basic. And the Dior woman took me to a bag that had bulky chains weaved through. In what world does "plan and basic" mean "bulky chains"?? And then, oh my and then, she brought me a bag with an across the body shoulder strap. I tried to smile politely, but I was really just trying not to vomit. Because one cannot vomit in Dior. But it was tough, people. It was tough. Across the body shoulder strap?? Who are these people?

So, even though I had the green light from my husband, nothing was purchased that day. Guess I really just love my Chicago shopping.